studying micro..

well my next paper is other subject but im revising eco ==

damn stuuuu...

done with 2 papers..no guarantee if i can get good grades.

quite tough.

oh well..busy and stress this week.

#wearing formal

HI 

My name is Ivy.

Im a 20 young female gal with long hair.

haha..

fighting for my final!

tired tired

stress stress

but whenever i think bout final im going back hometown soon!!!

madafakar yeah!!

okay ivy..

now focus final first ;)

but sambil itu cam whore!!hahaha

i really hate people keep staring at me.

really piss!

keep stare for shit ar!

fucking irritating..

for nothing keep stare at me for what..

really taste my temper!

my temper any minute will explode..u make me cannot stand you you dun blame me..

why you keep want stare at people?

you make people so uneasy you know??

damn!

me looking away.......

oh well..

this year Christmas i am so out of expectation that im studying for final lol

there's nothing i can do here..

study..

online..

no where to go 

but library and gym.

PATHETIC!

a year pass just like that..

a lot things happen during a year.

either i forget it or let it be a sweet bitter memories..

there's nothing i can do here except keep on studying. that's the reason that i need to get a better result!

ivy! you can do it!

micro test 1 you get 26/30..prove that i can do it when i want to!

good luck!!

not even worth a minute for you. 
trying hard to listen my babes advice..at least there is some people that care for me. thanks sista 

19 days and i will be home.
i will use my time wisely.

i am too tired to chase after you...







its getting late now..sorry bloggie i take my nap first goodnight ..
stay tune.....................

I know im not important to you and im not longer attractive to you. Perhaps u not desire to have me 
anymore. I know maybe you have someone else in your eyes now but you are my everything till now. Dont wait everything gone just will only learn to appreciate. Im not gonna wait and cry for every single times you hurt me. Treat me like what im suppose to deserve not simply girl you find to entertain you. And here i want to tell everyone that im not REGRET for what i’ve make. I believe everything has its own destiny whether mine or yours. 

Love is sweet yet bitter. Im not matured enough but i know it’s wrong to pick a knife without handle that keep hurting myself back. Its worth to sacrifice and put down that stubborn ego just to get him back. But after so..efforts mistreated as nothing but annoying matter to you. 

Im not that kinda girl in fb that looks pretty in that short mini american flag pants or cute pretty lady with slim curve body.. Im sure you love the way i do right? But days after days..Im not attractive to you anymore until you fed up with my words, with my efforts and care-ness.. 

Im so so so tired to impress you. You care nothing. It seems like im just an entertainer to you. Or just you not understand the way i showed? The way i care ? You might not notice it? 

I care my diet now coz i wanna be attractive to you.. i want to stay slim thinner and wear beautiful curvy dress to attract you. Its that necessary for me to keep impress and keep win your heart? If so.. im so so tired with this. You seems care nothing bout me. Ignore me like nobody. Find me only when 
you need someone to entertain you. It feels so hurt when the person you like said that hurtful things to you. I am not a problem to you . And i am not kao peh to you. That hurtful things makes me realize.. more realize if i am really that important and a little respective girl for you? 

I hold on cause i know what i want but you? Please don’t play with my feelings and life. I can’t afford to play this kind of games. 

you treat me different from time to time. feel so hurtful n so pain and i cant do anything bout it. coause i know you will just so pissed and walk away...

If i’m not the one tell me sooner and i will learn to accept and let it go. I cant move on with this kind of life...stressful and painful... i just want to live happily and smile always and always playful and laugh out loud

already my third day without eating a proper meal

i think my 'sickness' come again..no appetite eat at all

whole day not feel like eating.

wanna puke see those foods..

shit! it's happening again -,-

like last year @@

my boobs are getting smaller my wrist are also getting smaller..

shit!

i just can't eat..

i wanna eat but i can't

yummy foods not attractive to me..

well,..

think positive!

im losing my weight though..hiak hiak

hope to fit sexy dresses during cny

cant wait!

i cant wait to go home!!

another 27 days to go!!

i miss my family and friends!!!

awwwww!!!

life's is getting tougher day by day

i cant predict what will happen

but i hope i can do the best to make my life full with satisfaction..

no regrets but memories..

i never regret of anything..

life is this. we will never know until we went for it, right??

yeah..so...

no rush..

whats comes around goes around huh..

final in 2 weeks time. 

i've no time to think too much.

but i will do my best though..

YES IVY! be alive :)

its hard to face these thing again. u juz wun learn to appreciate me. till i gone . i wun say sorry to you. i am sorry to myself. i will forget u soon. its a challenge for me but ...i wont find u ever again. goodbye

I give you my future my life. My future with you.

I never regret chooses you but i regret trusting you again.

Why it’s it hard to love a person? Did i make it this way? Did i?

I want too much? I want us to be more value to each other. Never bored with each other. 

I think im one sided in these..

4 days i lived without him. I resist myself for touching my phone. But i kept on unlock my phone to see if there’s any calls or messages. But....

Every day and night its a nightmare for me

I struggle myself over a phone. I can’t believe i can really make myself stand from finding you.. 

Until the third day you msg me. I ignore it. Until the next day which is today. I finally lose to myself to reply you that i really are getting over you. 

It is hard to see myself struggle over a same guy that hurt me so badly.

Its december now..last year december you was not like this to me. You was kind so to me. Always cheer me and tried to make me in love with you. One year had past, things were different now. You can live without me for days. Mean im the one who loves more than you does. 

You are so different now.

Wonder what am i for you..

I am so lonely

So hurt

Heartsore...like the pain u used to gave me.

Friends are not here for me. Family are far from here.

I have no one to talk too. I keep in my heart. I’m losing myself now..shit! Final is here..i hope i can pass first sem..i dont want to fail in my life again.

I choose this path my own..with you..now im walking alone.

I need to let go ..its harmful for my future and for my heart...keep on cried for nothing.

People just won’t learn to appreciate after get what they want. They will push away after awhile. 

I cannot believe that i make a decision that im too stubborn to accept people’s opinion. Im too stubborn to accept the truth. 

I never thought these things happen again. You live without me. Im nothing more or less now huh. I should knew these days would have come. You met someone else huh..that’s why you treated me this way..this is what i get..

I cant stand with this life anymore!!

LET GO IVY!!!!! 

No matter how busy i am. I always will find you and keep on disturb you. I never bored with you. I keep on pushing you to do better its because i dont want people look down on you..friend..families.. I keep want you to do things i want its because i wan you look good for me and everyone else. 

But all these time.. It’s useless. Time to give up and let go ivy! Chase your dream and be happy! Thank god for kind to me. You give me strength to stay strong n never give up! 

Time to grow up! My name is IVY KOH and i am 20 this year! I will let go my past and chase over my dream! *sounds dramatic lol