studying micro..

well my next paper is other subject but im revising eco ==

damn stuuuu...

done with 2 papers..no guarantee if i can get good grades.

quite tough.

oh well..busy and stress this week.

#wearing formal

HI 

My name is Ivy.

Im a 20 young female gal with long hair.

haha..

fighting for my final!

tired tired

stress stress

but whenever i think bout final im going back hometown soon!!!

madafakar yeah!!

okay ivy..

now focus final first ;)

but sambil itu cam whore!!hahaha

i really hate people keep staring at me.

really piss!

keep stare for shit ar!

fucking irritating..

for nothing keep stare at me for what..

really taste my temper!

my temper any minute will explode..u make me cannot stand you you dun blame me..

why you keep want stare at people?

you make people so uneasy you know??

damn!

me looking away.......

oh well..

this year Christmas i am so out of expectation that im studying for final lol

there's nothing i can do here..

study..

online..

no where to go 

but library and gym.

PATHETIC!

a year pass just like that..

a lot things happen during a year.

either i forget it or let it be a sweet bitter memories..

there's nothing i can do here except keep on studying. that's the reason that i need to get a better result!

ivy! you can do it!

micro test 1 you get 26/30..prove that i can do it when i want to!

good luck!!

not even worth a minute for you. 
trying hard to listen my babes advice..at least there is some people that care for me. thanks sista 

19 days and i will be home.
i will use my time wisely.

i am too tired to chase after you...







its getting late now..sorry bloggie i take my nap first goodnight ..
stay tune.....................

I know im not important to you and im not longer attractive to you. Perhaps u not desire to have me 
anymore. I know maybe you have someone else in your eyes now but you are my everything till now. Dont wait everything gone just will only learn to appreciate. Im not gonna wait and cry for every single times you hurt me. Treat me like what im suppose to deserve not simply girl you find to entertain you. And here i want to tell everyone that im not REGRET for what i’ve make. I believe everything has its own destiny whether mine or yours. 

Love is sweet yet bitter. Im not matured enough but i know it’s wrong to pick a knife without handle that keep hurting myself back. Its worth to sacrifice and put down that stubborn ego just to get him back. But after so..efforts mistreated as nothing but annoying matter to you. 

Im not that kinda girl in fb that looks pretty in that short mini american flag pants or cute pretty lady with slim curve body.. Im sure you love the way i do right? But days after days..Im not attractive to you anymore until you fed up with my words, with my efforts and care-ness.. 

Im so so so tired to impress you. You care nothing. It seems like im just an entertainer to you. Or just you not understand the way i showed? The way i care ? You might not notice it? 

I care my diet now coz i wanna be attractive to you.. i want to stay slim thinner and wear beautiful curvy dress to attract you. Its that necessary for me to keep impress and keep win your heart? If so.. im so so tired with this. You seems care nothing bout me. Ignore me like nobody. Find me only when 
you need someone to entertain you. It feels so hurt when the person you like said that hurtful things to you. I am not a problem to you . And i am not kao peh to you. That hurtful things makes me realize.. more realize if i am really that important and a little respective girl for you? 

I hold on cause i know what i want but you? Please don’t play with my feelings and life. I can’t afford to play this kind of games. 

you treat me different from time to time. feel so hurtful n so pain and i cant do anything bout it. coause i know you will just so pissed and walk away...

If i’m not the one tell me sooner and i will learn to accept and let it go. I cant move on with this kind of life...stressful and painful... i just want to live happily and smile always and always playful and laugh out loud

already my third day without eating a proper meal

i think my 'sickness' come again..no appetite eat at all

whole day not feel like eating.

wanna puke see those foods..

shit! it's happening again -,-

like last year @@

my boobs are getting smaller my wrist are also getting smaller..

shit!

i just can't eat..

i wanna eat but i can't

yummy foods not attractive to me..

well,..

think positive!

im losing my weight though..hiak hiak

hope to fit sexy dresses during cny

cant wait!

i cant wait to go home!!

another 27 days to go!!

i miss my family and friends!!!

awwwww!!!

life's is getting tougher day by day

i cant predict what will happen

but i hope i can do the best to make my life full with satisfaction..

no regrets but memories..

i never regret of anything..

life is this. we will never know until we went for it, right??

yeah..so...

no rush..

whats comes around goes around huh..

final in 2 weeks time. 

i've no time to think too much.

but i will do my best though..

YES IVY! be alive :)

its hard to face these thing again. u juz wun learn to appreciate me. till i gone . i wun say sorry to you. i am sorry to myself. i will forget u soon. its a challenge for me but ...i wont find u ever again. goodbye

I give you my future my life. My future with you.

I never regret chooses you but i regret trusting you again.

Why it’s it hard to love a person? Did i make it this way? Did i?

I want too much? I want us to be more value to each other. Never bored with each other. 

I think im one sided in these..

4 days i lived without him. I resist myself for touching my phone. But i kept on unlock my phone to see if there’s any calls or messages. But....

Every day and night its a nightmare for me

I struggle myself over a phone. I can’t believe i can really make myself stand from finding you.. 

Until the third day you msg me. I ignore it. Until the next day which is today. I finally lose to myself to reply you that i really are getting over you. 

It is hard to see myself struggle over a same guy that hurt me so badly.

Its december now..last year december you was not like this to me. You was kind so to me. Always cheer me and tried to make me in love with you. One year had past, things were different now. You can live without me for days. Mean im the one who loves more than you does. 

You are so different now.

Wonder what am i for you..

I am so lonely

So hurt

Heartsore...like the pain u used to gave me.

Friends are not here for me. Family are far from here.

I have no one to talk too. I keep in my heart. I’m losing myself now..shit! Final is here..i hope i can pass first sem..i dont want to fail in my life again.

I choose this path my own..with you..now im walking alone.

I need to let go ..its harmful for my future and for my heart...keep on cried for nothing.

People just won’t learn to appreciate after get what they want. They will push away after awhile. 

I cannot believe that i make a decision that im too stubborn to accept people’s opinion. Im too stubborn to accept the truth. 

I never thought these things happen again. You live without me. Im nothing more or less now huh. I should knew these days would have come. You met someone else huh..that’s why you treated me this way..this is what i get..

I cant stand with this life anymore!!

LET GO IVY!!!!! 

No matter how busy i am. I always will find you and keep on disturb you. I never bored with you. I keep on pushing you to do better its because i dont want people look down on you..friend..families.. I keep want you to do things i want its because i wan you look good for me and everyone else. 

But all these time.. It’s useless. Time to give up and let go ivy! Chase your dream and be happy! Thank god for kind to me. You give me strength to stay strong n never give up! 

Time to grow up! My name is IVY KOH and i am 20 this year! I will let go my past and chase over my dream! *sounds dramatic lol

hard work obtain!

I'm so proud of myself

3 times a week hit gym..

this is what i get after my hard work

im gonna maintain it and improve the abs!!

oh yeah baby!!

haha..

healthy lifestyle!!

FACTS

he scold his girl moron stupid idiot

and she is a problem to him.

that is what he said to his girl

how wonderful is that?

haha..

after what she did for him this is what she get.

moral of the story do not..DO NOT TRUST THE GUY THAT HURT YOU DOZEN OF TIME.

its time to let go and move forward.

its natural for a boyfriend to pamper back his girl after a fight no matter who's fault it is.

even celebrities like fann wong and chriss lee. they said no matter what communication is the point. keep communicate no matter what. even busy with their schedules they manage to keep in touch everyday!

so so fucking envy!

i realize tat guy who's been scolding his girl never ever try to appreciate even once.

he only try to appreciate when trying to win her back.

this is what he did.

after get what he want, he just push away that girl.

moral of the story: when you cannot cherish the person,let other ppl do that job for you.

Rough Days

i never thought you will exactly did that to me again.

really out of my expectation. hurt.

speechless.

never mind. im still young enough to experience all these sour bitter road.

i see clearly enough.

ivy koh suet li,

now you can see dy right.

then wake up bodoh. dont be so blurrr liao lol

sigh,,..need somebody to chat with :(

so lonely here. 

keep on study till i become nerdy jor ahhhh

i want clubbing hahaha

i want that cheerful ivy ^^

happy go lucky huh

u like it right haha..

i missing my old life lol.

here nothing at all..

i cant stop complaining here lol

even after 4 years graduate frm here i will still be complaining @@

you need the faith to stay strong.

without your family and friends.

i miss y'll

:(

oh well, i've been in library whole time.

today afternoon i went library to revise my economy..well there's a guy, looks like a mixed blooded guy..dont seem like indian chinese or even malay..

i think he's chinese indian..ermmm...

i heard his conversation with his friend lol

he says im cute hahaha!! make my day LOLOLOLOL

oh yeah..my roommate photoshooting my picture for her photography assignment as a portrait picture. well im glad my pic helps her to dedicate as a best group ^^

TEHEE!

this makes my day too ..hahahahah

anyway im not seeing anyone here.

my heart belongs to someone else ..maybe.....................

after what i saw these few days. i doubt myself.

what comes around goes around then.

simply live right ;)

 

judging frm cover

Don't judge me for my choice when u don't understand my reason.

you know nothing bout me.

rindu!!!

i miss you i miss you!!!

i miss my family lar!!!

T.T

wanna give up soooo sooooo badly!!!

but i cant!!

i wanna study but not here!!

i still dont like here!!

stupid naaaa..why here!!

im not enjoying my uni life oso!! not even abit ! arrrrrgghhhh

what the heck man...

the only entertainment go library or gym..tats all!

im going to dieeeeee

no entertainment no nothing!!

please goddd.. please help me bare

miss homeeeeey

Rainy season in kelate..

feel so cold..my blanket are too small for me. 

sigh wish you were here for me :(

i chat withmy bestie today..

owhhh goood i really miss her..she in melaka while im stuck right here 

goddamnit!!!

i miss her so much!! can i fly back????

sigh study here makes me lost so much things but in the same time gain new things.

im still not loving here. i miss hometown so much

i just want to finish my studies here and then fast back melaka!!!

arghhh come on!! 

first sem oso haven finish lol

im so ruin!!!

@@

in loveeeeeeee

ONE SUDDEN DAY..

i fall in love with this guy..

i love this guy.

Love him so much..

tochapman.

admire him so much.

loss so much weight.

prefer fatfat de him

hihi

cute

---------------------------------------------------

Missing you...

Miles away from you..

guess what

30/10

Again he ask me not to bother (kao peh) him. 

So this is when i decided not to bother about him anymore.

 I will care less.

 Heart broken every time.

 Burst into tears every time he said that to me.

well,

girl this is your choice. 

Learn to accept ba.

or

make your choice.

love ivy 

something so wrong.

i don't know what is it. but things don't seems right.

im feeling abit worried and nothing i can do bout it.

feel so alone and you not there for me.

hmm..

things getting not close.

we have no time for each other.

and im too tired of waiting.

too tired.

im not enjoy here. not the uni life i imagined.

sucks like hell.

everyone want to be the one that attract lecture. i find it its stupid to do that coz you are humiliating yourself in the whole class.

souuuu stupid.

dont think its clever. but u look stupid to us.

just do your part. dont so over confident. you might lose yourself up there.

well guys 

things really wont goes as planned. 

so ..expect nothing but the worst. 

nothin

went mcd 

stole wifi to skype

but in the end

there's incident over ur side.
k nvm.

just back from there.

tired.

nite.

pale.sick.stomachache.laosai.but.came.for.skype.

lone

all alone

have no one to talk to.

HOME!!!

my neck got scar..my legs got dots..my waist too!!

whole body scars!!!

my neck got swollen past few days..

cant even turn to back

the neck gland swell so much

went to UMK Clinic but close??

wtf??

close at 4pm???

friday close somemore

saturday not sure..

arghh

my head spin so much

pain so much!

beh tahan here

no entertainment no nothing you know!!

i don't know how they survive here

@@

SALUTE

but i will try to enjoy UNI life ba

so suck here

I miss MELAKA 

I MISS HOME!!!

T.T

HUHUHUHUHU

Tmr no class

hiak hiak..gonna slp till dawn 

lalala

currently at KELANTAN MCD borrow WIFI hahah

haha i look so serious huh xD

SCUMass

fucking irritating
wish me from your bottom of your heart if you going to find me
not asking stupid questions
before you ask me, you ask ur bro what he had done over there!

judge me la..eh i fucking don't care la

you will judge me like the rest of those bitches.

yes im bitch you know why?
because their bf keep finding me.
fucking logic is that??

eh MR

JUDGE ME WHEN YOU ARE IN MY POSITION JERK SCUMASS

fucking make me irritated to you!

tot you want ask how's my life going..but instead judge me?
eh please you not qualified

you are not my friend anymore.
 BYE

im FEELING MEHHHHHHHHHHHH

(wear baju kurung to class today)

UNI LIFE

hi guys..
hmm..been busy whole weeks!!
 well congrats to me TEHEEEEE

finally im a UNI student so called MAHASISWI ^^
proud of myself.

ytd all class cancel so consider today is the first day of class.

guess what..im the group leader hiak hiak..
sorry but i too kepo dy..i want to involved actively in all activities.
hhaha...im being friendly with everyone include indians and malays..
to be honest, chinese way to LAN C. come on..just be friends you wont loss anything right?gain more friend maaaa.... adui..


i neglect my studies after PMR ..my result then fall so bad..
i ignore my studies.
and i regretted it everytime i think of it.

Now, i had given a chance to study in UNI and start everything from ZERO.

FOCUS, AIM, MAINTAIN MY ENTHUSIASM UNTIL THE END
NEVER EVER GIVE UP.

My parents hope i succeed like my brother.
yes i know im not born genius..but i will work hard just like my brothr. Keep fighting to the end.
compete with myself not others..thats my discipline i set frm now!

FIGHTING IVY!!!  

Education inspire me.. without education we probably will never achieve things we don't expect to..but gaining so much knowledge.

please don't judge me..you may think at your side/position but you will never will understand one's position.
for example; an orphanage , you will never understand the path she's walking.. never ever.
once you are the one who be the one, yeah,..you will understand.

I will answer your question.
YES education is important 
because i know education will bring me further.

even one tiny ant could change the world. NEVER JUDGE how tiny it is. JUDGE the part she will do for this world.

SO IVY , DO YOUR PART NOW.................................................................

6

oh well  6 days to go.. 

hmm..pass my day hanging out with cousins and friends.

went gym again..

dp buy a dress..i dun really like it..but fuck i bought it ..no regrets.

hmm..going out with babes..

cam whore with them..

so tired..gonna upload more pic soon..

stay back ;)

9

  went gym today..  

  50 kg ..  

  gain weight!!  

  nvm,i will lose weight easily..  

  what a wednesday night..  

  sore night.  

  being scold by someone   

   ________________________________________  

  i get dressed.  

  i make up.  

  pancake done.  

  going to meet up.  

  i called, scare to go up.in lift scares.   

  today hungry ghost month 15th day in chinese 7 ye ban.   

   im scare to go up there alone.  

  tats why i call.  

  i nvr mean to wake u up.  

  i make pancake for you.  

  in the end, i ate it myself.  

  so heart pain.   

  sorry im too lazy to write full sentence.  

  down.  

  sad.  

  9 days   

  and more sad...